No one has taken me to a movie since my last post; but I still managed to see some on my own. Maybe that makes me sound like a big pathetic loser, but it's important that you know who is Hot and where to see them, so I'll own up to my solo movie watching for your sake. Don't ever say I've let you down. Or I'll cut you.
Flying from Newark to San Juan, I was offered the opportunity to view Rumor Has It. As I had little else to do, and San Juan is nowhere near Newark, I put on my headset. During the salad course, I learned that the movie was about a family whose situation was the basis for The Graduate. This wasn't that interesting to me, but the airlines take on a Caesar salad with aspargus was very intruiging. They also provided me with a bowl of burning hot almonds. In summary: movie plot...meh, salad....delicious and surprising, almonds....burny and salty.
During the mixed grill of veal and a filet, it is revealed that Kevin Costner has slept with Jennifer Aniston's mother and grandmother. The mother is dead and the grandmother is old. Jennifer Aniston is pretty cute and is engaged to Mark Ruffalo, who I have decided is only Hot when he is being snide. Kevin Costner actually manages to look pretty dashing, but it's hard to think of him as Hot when you learn of his multi-generational screwing. Also, he wears a white dinner jacket, and that always irritates me. The filet was actually cooked well (as in medium rare) though, and there was a really delicious roll with it. Jennifer Aniston's movie sister had these crazy buggy eyes and that freaked me out until my ice cream sundae got there. My final thoughts are that Continental rocks so much more than Northwest.
I watched the Green Mile in Spanish while in Fajardo and was really proud of myself for understanding it; although I've read the book and seen the movie in English, so I'm sure I was just projecting genius onto myself. Because really, they never had a death row chapter in my Spanish class. I stopped taking it right after the course on Cell Block A.
On the way back to Newark, I was seated in the first row on the left side of the plane. I had slept only two hours the night before because the Conquistador hotel thinks it's really cute to stock the hotel with NOCTURNAL DAMN BIRDS that chirp loudly only when it's very dark. Total silence all day, tortured squaking all night.
I was struggling to get all of my stuff in the over head bin since there was no seat in front of me to throw stuff under; and the whole time the guy in the window seat was just staring at me. I was totally convinced my zipper was down and went to get it before realizing I was wearing linen drawstring pants. After getting all of my stuff up, fumbling with my pants, sitting down, buckling my seat belt, ordering a diet coke, and getting a magazine- the guy in the window seat asks if I can trade seats with his friend. Because there was no way to do that before I was completely settled in. But I did it and moved to the first seat in the other aisle. I got re-settled and ordered a new drink and found my page in the magazine I had. Then the flight attendant came to my seat and TOLD me I was moving to accomodate a different couple. He didn't ask, he just told me I was going back three rows. Like I had been choosing seats on the flight solely to split up people that were actually in someone else's company. I was then seated next to the crabbiest woman in the world. She completely glared at me, furious that I had allowed the honey-mooning couple to sit together, because together we could have ruined their morning.
The flight attendant started to ask people what they wanted for breakfast; either an omelette or french toast. I don't like french toast very much, so I was planning on the omelette- which of course, all of the people who had stolen my seats ordered, sticking me with the french toast. Now, I don't really care because it's a free meal and I was so late to the airport, I didn't have time to get myself anything- but the crab lady freaked out and started demanding the the flight attendants find her an omelette. I don't know what cloud over the Caribben she thought the staff could pluck eggs from; but I guess we didn't pass it, because she got stuck with the toast too.
The point of that stupid long story is that the movie came on and magically cheered this woman up- it was Last Holiday with Queen Latifah and LL Cool J. Evidently, crab people are totally amused by ridiculously predictable movies that DON'T even involve LL taking his shirt off. Because seriously, I should have been sleeping at this point, but LL Cool J was in this movie, so I was going to watch it NO MATTER WHAT, in the hopes that LL would take it off. Take it all off. You know. Yeah. That's the stuff. He's the kind of guy. Mmm. BUT - no, he remians not only clothed the whole movie, but he is also wearing a huge snow parka. I can't see definition under a parka! It has no cling! Despite this, the movie was kind of cute, and it shut the crab lady up. She didn't even make a rude remark about the fact that I spilled syrup on my boobs and failed to notice for two hours. She didn't politely point it out to me either, but I wasn't expecting that much from her anyway.
That might be it. If you want to post something, let me know how you like to spell omelette. Sometimes I like to write omelet instead. And tell me what you like in an omlette. I like spinach, tomatoes, and feta. I also like to only use egg whites- it tastes better and I like the white color with the spinach and tomato. Don't make fun of me. I'll cut you. |
